culture by Alyssa Castillo

Single in the City: The Surfer Dude of The Fort

“He had just gotten out of a long-term relationship two months ago, but he’s ready to find a new girlfriend.”

Ask anyone and they would tell you that dating today is quite complex. While technology adds a layer of convenience to meeting new people, it does so with some baggage in tow. We send off our twenty-something into to the digital landscape to find out how things really are. The mission? Go on a Bumble date for every NBHD we cover, and live to tell the tale. Next up: The Surfer Dude of The Fort.

Right off the bat, Surfer Dude asked me why I was on Bumble and single–because apparently, it was “hard to believe since you’re so gorgeous.” I cringe at what was obviously a line. I’m not into sweet talkers but I let it slide. I swiped right at him because he presented himself as a beach lover which I liked. And through conversations in the app, he gave me a glimpse of his personality as a very forward and confident guy. Within a week of chatting, he pushed for a first date.

For a while we couldn’t match our schedules. Two rainchecks later and I was ready to flake. But the opportunity finally came for a quick day date—the only Saturday afternoon we found ourselves to be both free. Despite picking me up two hours late, I didn’t mind. Meeting him in the flesh was something else. With absolutely no exaggeration, this guy is like 30-year-old Pinoy version of Ryan Gosling. Try to picture it in your head.

The traffic had been bad that day but it was a long, pleasant drive to where we made plans to grab a bite and a glass of wine. It helped a lot that talking to him was easy. He was a gentleman with a sense of humor and I warmed up to him quickly.

With his level of confidence, I was right when I sensed that he does this quite often. He mentioned that he had just gotten out of a long-term relationship two months ago, but he’s ready to find a new girlfriend. Before me, he had already gone on eight Bumble dates. Clearly, he moves fast.

Surfer Dude came on a little too strong for my liking. I got caught off guard when, after talking about light topics such as music and traveling, he diverted to things that are more personal. For most of the time, I let him speak so I could really listen. When he’d pry about my life, I would politely dodge his invasive questions simply because I was uncomfortable. I appreciated his genuine interest in getting to know me, but for some reason I couldn’t return it.

After the date, we texted some more on a daily basis as he would urge for a second date. I thought about it for a while. A month passed until I finally told him that I’m not quite ready to get into anything serious. He was here looking to settle down but I couldn’t bring myself to try it out half-heartedly and risk wasting his time. I took a guy friend’s advice which is to just be straight-up clear with my own intentions. After all, he deserved my honesty, and not my “ghosting” capability.

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Alyssa Castillo
Alyssa Castillo is a freelance writer and is concurrently Rogue Media's Editorial Assistant for The NBHD. She reads for fun, writes for a living, and wastes too much time entertaining the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. Find her on Instagram as @alyssakcastillo.
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