Tag Archives: Bumble

culture by Alyssa Castillo

Single in the City: The Writer from Mandaluyong

“Before he could brush a hand on my leg again, I decided to call it a night.”

Ask anyone and they would tell you that dating today is quite complex. While technology adds a layer of convenience to meeting new people, it does so with some baggage in tow. We send off our twenty-something into to the digital landscape to find out how things really are. The mission? Go on a Bumble date for every NBHD we cover, and live to tell the tale. Next up: The Writer from Mandaluyong

Okay, so with this guy, I didn’t even have to try. An afternoon into our first conversation and the Writer already asked me out for a drink the next day. It was nice, I guess. I didn’t find it too fast as I’m not one to beat around the bush. Hey, let’s get this over with… because, why not? He seemed nice, genuine, and not boring–which is a huge concern for me.

One beer later, however, I felt like I knew the entire PBA history. I’ll admit my mind might have drifted off a couple of times but it was really nice to listen to him ramble on. It was written all over his face and his hand movements that he’s clearly passionate about his job.

We work in the same industry so, naturally, the writer in him sparked the writer in me. We both love to share stories and experiences and we’re both talkative, confident, and eager to know more about anything. After a couple of bottles we had already given way to discuss our different views and perspectives on media, politics, education, relationships, and whatnot–all without invading each other’s privacies or getting too personal. Him being five years older than me, he even ended up giving advice on how to handle the difficult situations I may encounter in my twenties.

During that 3-hour getting-to-know-you chat, I noticed that he was getting touchier and touchier after every swig he took from his bottle. It might have just been “liquid courage.” But I wasn’t keen on it. Before he could brush a hand on my leg again, I decided to call it a night.

On the ride home, he mentioned that I was a “chill girl,” and that it was easy to become comfortable around me. “Am I easy?” I thought. I thanked him for the compliment, which may or may not have given him mixed signals. He proceeded to try to kiss me–mid-traffic, in the middle of one of Shaw boulevard’s stoplights. I initially shifted my weight away from him, a non-verbal cue, then came a straight-up “no.” More than freaked out, I felt empowered. I used my voice.

He caught on and backed off quickly, and he seemed perplexed because apparently that’s “the first time he’d been rejected.” I fake-grinned and suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. As he dropped me off, he apologized and I told him not to worry. He asked if he could see me again but all I did was respond with a smile and a quick hug before hopping off, which was my way of saying “no.”

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Alyssa Castillo
Alyssa Castillo is a freelance writer and is concurrently Rogue Media's Editorial Assistant for The NBHD. She reads for fun, writes for a living, and wastes too much time entertaining the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. Find her on Instagram as @alyssakcastillo.
culture by Alyssa Castillo

Single in the City: PBA Cutie of The South

“He would like some of my posts but he seemingly didn’t like me enough to take me out.”

Ask anyone and they would tell you that dating today is quite complex. While technology adds a layer of convenience to meeting new people, it does so with some baggage in tow. We send off our twenty-something into to the digital landscape to find out how things really are. The mission? Go on a Bumble date for every NBHD we cover, and live to tell the tale. Next up: PBA Cutie of the South

With PBA Cutie, I was surprised we had even matched. I mean, he’s darn cute, and we got along instantly. Among the many things we shared, it was his sense of humor that got me. We talked almost every day, which ran its course for a month or so. He would even send me photos while he was at basketball practice. Again, cute.

For a while we were just chatting and getting to know one another. And then one day he suggested that maybe we should finally meet. Sure, I said. No expectations. This was the only time we had exchanged numbers, or social media handles. He said this would make it easier for us to keep in touch since he’ll be busy training.

I’m a firm believer that both first and second impressions count. Meeting somebody through Bumble is the first–it’s all physical initially. The story, though, could take a turn once you add them on Facebook or follow them on Instagram. Social media is the second impression, as it acts like a window to their personality and shows you how they want themselves to be seen by the world.

Based on his profiles, PBA Cutie is a God-fearing, family-loving, Bible verse-quoting, and “ball is life” type of dude. He seemed like a perfect guy that it was almost unsettling.

Time had passed when he suddenly, out of nowhere, ghosted. He stopped messaging. I followed up on our supposed date (in this Mexican place I’ve been dying to try) just once, and he used the “I’ll just let you know” card. Right there, I thought, Oh God, he’s blowing me off already? Well, OK. I’ll find someone else to try La Chinesca with. We never spoke again since, but remained “connected” through social media. He would like some of my posts but he seemingly didn’t like me enough to take me out.

So, this one didn’t go as I thought it would. I’m an overthinker, and up to now, I can’t help but wonder if he blew me off because of how I presented myself through social media. Had I seemed like a totally different girl on Bumble from the girl I am on my Instagram? Was he thrown off by all the New York Times Modern Love articles I’d share on Facebook? Did he dislike how vocal I am on Twitter about wanting a drink all the time? (Probably. He doesn’t drink.)

Honestly, I didn’t even feel bad about this. I wasn’t desperate to meet him, but I guess I’ll never know what happened here. I’m sure he has his reasons—of which, I realized, I don’t need to waste my time stressing about. And, I didn’t feel that he owed me an explanation. I guess the rules really are different when it comes to a non-traditional dating scene.

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Alyssa Castillo
Alyssa Castillo is a freelance writer and is concurrently Rogue Media's Editorial Assistant for The NBHD. She reads for fun, writes for a living, and wastes too much time entertaining the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. Find her on Instagram as @alyssakcastillo.
culture by Alyssa Castillo

Single in the City: The Surfer Dude of The Fort

“He had just gotten out of a long-term relationship two months ago, but he’s ready to find a new girlfriend.”

Ask anyone and they would tell you that dating today is quite complex. While technology adds a layer of convenience to meeting new people, it does so with some baggage in tow. We send off our twenty-something into to the digital landscape to find out how things really are. The mission? Go on a Bumble date for every NBHD we cover, and live to tell the tale. Next up: The Surfer Dude of The Fort.

Right off the bat, Surfer Dude asked me why I was on Bumble and single–because apparently, it was “hard to believe since you’re so gorgeous.” I cringe at what was obviously a line. I’m not into sweet talkers but I let it slide. I swiped right at him because he presented himself as a beach lover which I liked. And through conversations in the app, he gave me a glimpse of his personality as a very forward and confident guy. Within a week of chatting, he pushed for a first date.

For a while we couldn’t match our schedules. Two rainchecks later and I was ready to flake. But the opportunity finally came for a quick day date—the only Saturday afternoon we found ourselves to be both free. Despite picking me up two hours late, I didn’t mind. Meeting him in the flesh was something else. With absolutely no exaggeration, this guy is like 30-year-old Pinoy version of Ryan Gosling. Try to picture it in your head.

The traffic had been bad that day but it was a long, pleasant drive to where we made plans to grab a bite and a glass of wine. It helped a lot that talking to him was easy. He was a gentleman with a sense of humor and I warmed up to him quickly.

With his level of confidence, I was right when I sensed that he does this quite often. He mentioned that he had just gotten out of a long-term relationship two months ago, but he’s ready to find a new girlfriend. Before me, he had already gone on eight Bumble dates. Clearly, he moves fast.

Surfer Dude came on a little too strong for my liking. I got caught off guard when, after talking about light topics such as music and traveling, he diverted to things that are more personal. For most of the time, I let him speak so I could really listen. When he’d pry about my life, I would politely dodge his invasive questions simply because I was uncomfortable. I appreciated his genuine interest in getting to know me, but for some reason I couldn’t return it.

After the date, we texted some more on a daily basis as he would urge for a second date. I thought about it for a while. A month passed until I finally told him that I’m not quite ready to get into anything serious. He was here looking to settle down but I couldn’t bring myself to try it out half-heartedly and risk wasting his time. I took a guy friend’s advice which is to just be straight-up clear with my own intentions. After all, he deserved my honesty, and not my “ghosting” capability.

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Alyssa Castillo
Alyssa Castillo is a freelance writer and is concurrently Rogue Media's Editorial Assistant for The NBHD. She reads for fun, writes for a living, and wastes too much time entertaining the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. Find her on Instagram as @alyssakcastillo.
culture by Alyssa Castillo

Single in the City: Mr. Nice Guy of Manila

“He makes for the boyfriend every girl wants but…”

Ask anyone and they would tell you that dating today is quite complex. While technology adds a layer of convenience to meeting new people, it does so with some baggage in tow. We send off our twenty-something into to the digital landscape to find out how things really are. The mission? Go on a Bumble date for every NBHD we cover, and live to tell the tale. Next up: Mr. Nice Guy of Manila

“Out to prove that nice guys exist.” This is exactly what Mr. Nice Guy wrote on his About page. I swiped right almost instantly after I read that. And when we matched, I didn’t hesitate to say, “Hi, I like nice guys.”

There was no need to be flirty. It was enough that he was thoughtful and caring. He would casually ask me how my day is going or ask if I’ve eaten my lunch yet. He’d tell me to get home safely after work and make sure I get enough rest for the next day. And even if it would take me hours to reply to his messages, he didn’t make a fuss about it.

When I met him for a coffee date, I felt like I was meeting an old friend whom I couldn’t wait to catch up with. He had a warm aura and a pleasant personality. He was funny, too. And I loved the way he talked about his family. We also talked about our past relationships, and shared our personal sentiments on dating in our twenties in such a small world as Metro Manila.

As he met his previous girlfriend through Tinder, Mr. Nice Guy believes in being able to find love anywhere. Meanwhile, I confessed my skepticism toward online dating or using dating apps. Before, I’d insist that relationships grow organically; you don’t go out look for it. But as time passed, I realized that to each his own. And with technology rising, people looking for genuine friendships and lasting relationships may actually find great connections on a platform like Bumble.

Mr. Nice Guy makes for the boyfriend every girl wants. But here’s the plot twist: There was the lack of attraction on my part, and it was holding me back. This date felt like it was a platonic bonding time with a friend, a guy friend who would give you advice to your own boy problems. And I wondered if him being too nice had something to do with it. Before we parted ways, he asked for a second date, expressing that he wanted to begin seeing me seriously. It crushed me to tell him that I would love to keep in touch, but only as friends. Of course, he was nice about it.

While in my Uber, I concluded that he might’ve just proved to me what he said he would. After a string of “bad” guys in 2017, Mr. Nice Guy reminded the jaded me that decent men like him still exist. He messaged me as I was on the road, saying that he thought I’m “an amazing girl” but admitted that he got a little disappointed at how the date ended. It left me with a question: Do nice guys really finish last?

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Alyssa Castillo
Alyssa Castillo is a freelance writer and is concurrently Rogue Media's Editorial Assistant for The NBHD. She reads for fun, writes for a living, and wastes too much time entertaining the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. Find her on Instagram as @alyssakcastillo.
culture by Alyssa Castillo

Single in the City: Mr. Type-A of Makati

“How could he be so unlike the guy on Bumble? Is this what it feels like to be catfished?”

Ask anyone and they would tell you that dating today is quite complex. While technology adds a layer of convenience to meeting new people, it does so with some baggage in tow. We send off our twenty-something into to the digital landscape to find out how things really are. The mission? Go on a Bumble date for every NBHD we cover, and live to tell the tale. First up: Mr. Type A of Makati.

From his pics down to his About page, he seemed adventurous. You know, the kind with a lot of out-of-town photos jumping off cliffs and skydiving? Much to my surprise, Mr. Type A, at 25, is a straight-laced corporate guy who lives by a strict daily routine.

Chatting with him was a breeze; he could carry a conversation. But he suddenly seemed so much older upon meeting him in the flesh. How could he be so unlike the guy on Bumble? Is this what it feels like to be catfished? Was I wrong for having any expectations?

He shared about his life, his family, his fondest memories with friends, and even some irrational fears. Initially, I was overwhelmed by how much I’ve gotten to know about him already before our food was served. I got a hunch that he’s been single for a while and turns out I was right when he admitted that he “doesn’t make time for relationships.” I see. Maybe he just really needs someone new to talk to. Then, he explained that having a Type-A personality is what pushed him to rethink his monotonous lifestyle. This Bumble date is a step for him to experience new things and meet new people. As much as he wants to have fun, he first needs to learn how.

I also shared about myself here and there, and how my life is like as a writer. Our contrasting lives shocked him, and he later on mused over the fact that it was refreshing and exciting to sit down with somebody so easygoing. But halfway through my meal, I found myself itching to reach for my phone or check my watch. I think he noticed how bored I was getting so he quickly switched up the topic to Astrology. My ears perked up, and we talked more about that until we finished dessert.

That night I came home a little more tired than usual. The three-hour dinner felt like a 12-hour chore. He was decent and all, but we just didn’t click. So when he messaged to ask for a second date, I told him that as co-Air Signs (he’s a Libra, I’m an Aquarius), that I think we’d be great at just being friends. He didn’t respond after that.

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Alyssa Castillo
Alyssa Castillo is a freelance writer and is concurrently Rogue Media's Editorial Assistant for The NBHD. She reads for fun, writes for a living, and wastes too much time entertaining the possibility of a zombie apocalypse. Find her on Instagram as @alyssakcastillo.