Ask anyone and they would tell you that dating today is quite complex. While technology adds a layer of convenience to meeting new people, it does so with some baggage in tow. We send off our twenty-something into to the digital landscape to find out how things really are. The mission? Go on a Bumble date for every NBHD we cover, and live to tell the tale. Next up: PBA Cutie of the South
With PBA Cutie, I was surprised we had even matched. I mean, he’s darn cute, and we got along instantly. Among the many things we shared, it was his sense of humor that got me. We talked almost every day, which ran its course for a month or so. He would even send me photos while he was at basketball practice. Again, cute.
For a while we were just chatting and getting to know one another. And then one day he suggested that maybe we should finally meet. Sure, I said. No expectations. This was the only time we had exchanged numbers, or social media handles. He said this would make it easier for us to keep in touch since he’ll be busy training.
I’m a firm believer that both first and second impressions count. Meeting somebody through Bumble is the first–it’s all physical initially. The story, though, could take a turn once you add them on Facebook or follow them on Instagram. Social media is the second impression, as it acts like a window to their personality and shows you how they want themselves to be seen by the world.
Based on his profiles, PBA Cutie is a God-fearing, family-loving, Bible verse-quoting, and “ball is life” type of dude. He seemed like a perfect guy that it was almost unsettling.
Time had passed when he suddenly, out of nowhere, ghosted. He stopped messaging. I followed up on our supposed date (in this Mexican place I’ve been dying to try) just once, and he used the “I’ll just let you know” card. Right there, I thought, Oh God, he’s blowing me off already? Well, OK. I’ll find someone else to try La Chinesca with. We never spoke again since, but remained “connected” through social media. He would like some of my posts but he seemingly didn’t like me enough to take me out.
So, this one didn’t go as I thought it would. I’m an overthinker, and up to now, I can’t help but wonder if he blew me off because of how I presented myself through social media. Had I seemed like a totally different girl on Bumble from the girl I am on my Instagram? Was he thrown off by all the New York Times Modern Love articles I’d share on Facebook? Did he dislike how vocal I am on Twitter about wanting a drink all the time? (Probably. He doesn’t drink.)
Honestly, I didn’t even feel bad about this. I wasn’t desperate to meet him, but I guess I’ll never know what happened here. I’m sure he has his reasons—of which, I realized, I don’t need to waste my time stressing about. And, I didn’t feel that he owed me an explanation. I guess the rules really are different when it comes to a non-traditional dating scene.